69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
