you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
being pregnant is like rehab
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The struggles of a small town man whore
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
