That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
