You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
