Have you finally orgasmed yet?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize