if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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