I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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