you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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