I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
