So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
