we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize