i wish my penis had a tongue
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
