U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
