I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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