I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
