operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
