I want to have your abortion
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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