john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
