I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
