I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
