don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
