6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
