i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
