he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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