Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
