Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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