There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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