idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
