Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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