I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
