Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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