super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
