It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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