So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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