I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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