I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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