Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the condom got lost in my hair
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
