wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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