just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
