North Korea, Best Korea!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
