idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
