We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
