ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
