i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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