Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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