you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
