It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
