Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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