I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize