So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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