you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
