Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
