Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
