So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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