I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
