Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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