Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
