So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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