imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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