mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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