oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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