I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
