This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
