Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize