Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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