I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
